Friday, November 29, 2013

Grunge Cookbook's Screaming Broccoli Tree Salad

When I was but a wee child, I absolutely despised broccoli. I tried everything to make it taste better.... holding my nose , smothering it in Cheez Whiz (fricken' Cheez Whiz), and cutting it up into tiny pieces and hiding it in the rest of my food.  But nothing helped.

It was disgusting.  It smelled horrible.  It felt like squeaky trees in my mouth.  YUCK.

And the funny thing is, as much as you think your parents are full of crap when they tell you that someday you will like broccoli... I have to admit, they were right. 

BUT, despite all my completely necessary, but ineffective, whining and complaining, there were two ways that I would actually eat broccoli and enjoy it.  The first way was this awesome broccoli rice casserole that Mom used to make, and the second way was, you guessed it: broccoli salad!  

Might have had something to do with the creamy, tangy dressing...

And the salty, crunchy bacon?  Not sure.  

So I made a new, healthified version using some amazing Greek yogurt that Chobani sent me.  And to jazz it up even more, I added cranberries (instead of those gross raisins) and crunchy, candied, spicy almonds! Yup yup.

Now let's all ban together and make OUR kids eat broccoli!   Mwuah ha haaaa.

Printable Recipe HERE.

8 cups fresh broccoli florets, cut into small bite-sized pieces (about 2 packages or 4 heads of broccoli)
1 small red onion, thinly sliced
4 slices turkey bacon
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon chili powder
2/3 cup slivered almonds
1 cup Chobani 2% Greek yogurt
1 cup buttermilk
1 tablespoon worcestershire sauce
1 packet Hidden Valley Ranch dip mix
1/2 cup dried cranberries

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Soak the onions in a small bowl of ice water (to remove the strong onion flavor).

Meanwhile, cook the bacon slices in a saute pan over medium high heat for about 5 minutes on each side, until crisp.  Chop the bacon and set aside.

In another small bowl, combine the almonds, honey and chili powder.  Stir to coat the almonds.  Bake on a small baking sheet for 10 minutes.  Set aside.

Combine the yogurt, buttermilk, Worcestershire, and ranch dip mix in a bowl and whisk to combine.

In a large bowl, mix the broccoli florets with the dressing. Add the onions, cranberries, slivered almonds, and bacon.

Refrigerate until ready to serve.  (To me, this salad tastes better when it has been allowed to sit overnight and marinate through.)

Cooking muzak! 

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